Where do you stand, when life is passing you by?

Where do you stand when life is passing you by?

It’s happened to many of us.  We work for a number of years in the same place, and the folks there get used to us being around. For the most part we do the same things day after day.  Then comes that day when you look around and realize that almost everyone you started with has already left the place and retired.  After that it’s just a matter of time, before you start to ask yourself “Why am I still here?”

We all come up with similar answers to the question. What would they do without me to (Insert one of the following: review the morning papers to find items of pertinent interest, perform the final edits of the reports reviewed twice before, monitor the automatic payroll process, or recall the name of the guy who used to sit in the back office?)  We all know that we are invaluable, even if we did spend years training our replacements.

Who would answer those questions about where the files on the Thompson case are located?  And what about the time that I was the only one who could remember how we handled the situation with the parking space rights-of-way?  Eventually we have to realize that they now have a new parking lot and all the old cases have been digitized and cataloged electronically.

That leaves you with reality, and accepting that it’s time to call it a day. To hang up the old spikes, or in other words to retire.  Now in today’s world of economic uncertainty that may be a frightening thought for more than one reason, but I’m only going to deal with the actual act of retiring, and not if you have to sell blood to survive.

We’ve decided to retire.  The big day comes and if we’re lucky there are still a few people left who want to throw us a small party.  So we stand there drink in hand and new watch on our wrist, as those we leave behind come up to say good bye. They tend to fall in to one of four groups.  Those who are too young to consider retiring; those who don’t have the time in but want to retire; those who can’t afford to retire but would if they could; and those who can’t imagine retiring.

The first group comes up and wishes you well, but you’re entering into a phase of life that they simply can’t imagine happening to them.  They are too young to think about retiring.  They went through the company class on retirement, and gave it as much attention as the location of the fire exits. To them death and retirement are both events that will never happen to them. They are at the beginning, and can’t imagine an end to the journey.

The next folks come up and ask questions like “What have you got planned?” or “Are you going to travel?” They are sincere but not really interested. They have been working for a number of years but not nearly enough to qualify for any type of retirement.  Oh they feel the crush of life that you passed through but for them it’s an ongoing thing.    Perhaps they’ve just read through the brochures for the college their oldest is looking at and have almost started to breathe again.  Perhaps they are looking at the estimates for their youngest’s braces and are asking themselves “just how bad can buck teeth be?”

Their wife is talking about a trip to Europe, and they’re thinking about that trip to the bank to ask for that second mortgage. The last vacation that they can remember fondly predates: diapers, soccer tournaments for ten year olds, and the lecture on binge drinking at the high school PTA.  Retirement is a distant dream on a par with a young wizard coming to their door and turning the pile of bills on the dining room table into gold bars.

The third group is the one who have that hunted look about them.  They are the folks who have worked as long as you but haven’t been as fortunate in life.  They have saved all of their lives only to find that their bank accounts haven’t kept up with inflation.  They’d be OK if a gallon of gas still cost 50 cents.

They envy you and would join you in a flash but life has treated them cruelly and they can’t put enough together enough money to stop working.  Perhaps they listened to that TV investment guru and sold all of their stocks just as the market bottomed out and bought bonds that now have no market.

They are the saddest because they should be at the office door with you, but fate punched a hole in their life boat.  Their mates may have had a long lasting fatal disease that drained their life savings.  The house that they planned to sell to buy that condominium in Florida has fallen victim to the current market conditions and is now worth half as much as the mortgage the bank holds on it.  You pat their hand as they wish you well with that look of envy in their eyes, and you tell them that things will get better.

The last group is the one who gave this piece a title. 

The “I can’t imagine retiring” folks are the ones who come in to work each day, ready to battle any dragons they can find, pets or otherwise. They know that what they do is important, even if no one else does.  Your retirement is a threat to their basis for life.  If you have been there in the trenches with them all of this time, and now can see a reason to quit, what does that mean for their untiring devotion to their job?  They can’t be wrong about fighting the good fight every day.  So if they’re not wrong, then you must be.  And so their conversations differ from the other groups.

“What” they ask “will you do with all of your time?”  “Are you planning to get another job?  Will you be working for a non-profit charity?”  They ask these questions with a faint whiff of fear.  Surely they think, there must be work in life to consume your time.  Should you answer that you haven’t thought about it, they get that cornered look in their eyes and tell you that you’d better get on it right away.  If you say that you plan to do a little traveling they want to know where you’ll be traveling and how long it will take you to complete your trip.  Those questions are then followed with the inevitable “And then what will you do?”  If you hint that you’re thinking of doing a little writing, they want a complete synopsis of your first book.  They ask if you’ve been a book store lately (not that they would admit to having spent any time browsing through the aisles.)  They tell you that there must be a million new books out there.  Everyone and their brothers are trying to write the new great American novel.  You won’t have a chance.  Failing to be intimidated only encourages them to place more rocks on your road to happiness.

You could plan ahead and have a witty reply ready to counter their negativism.  Try statements like: “A rich uncle just died and left me a million dollars.” Or “I’ve decided to move to Northern Canada and live off of the land for a year and then write a book about my experiences.”  These may stop them in their tracks and if you’re lucky they won’t realize you’re pulling their leg.

More than likely they will respond with “You can’t just sit around and eat bon bons all day.” or “What will you do after the book?”  They simply can’t imagine a life with out planned direction.  When they’re asked the question “Do you work to live, or live to work?”  Their answer will always be that of course they live to work.

Your retirement will allow you to read a book at your own pace, rather than having to read a 100 page report on roofing shingles over night to be able to summarize the results of the report at the next day’s staff meeting.  Your retirement will allow you to take off for a weekend trip to San Francisco, that may stretch into a week long excursion into the wine country.  Rather than a two day stay for a boring conference, and the red-eye flight back to the office for the next early morning meeting.

The movie you missed in the theaters is now out on DVD, and you can watch it as many times as you like without fear of appearing bleary eyed at your desk the next day.  That dining club that you heard about is still available, and now you won’t have to worry about missing all of the great meals because you have to work through the weekend.  Where the last group would see a boring and dirty waste of time, you see the development of a garden next to your house as both challenging and rewarding.  For them forgetting to set the alarm is a tragedy resulting in a late arrival that the boss may notice, but for you it’s an extra hour of sleep that you’ve missed for the last forty years.

They face you and with a look of poorly disguised disgust say “Are you just going to sit around and let the world pass you by?”

Pals, Cohorts, and Side-Kicks

Pals, Cohorts, & Side-Kicks

What about those also rans. Those characters who stand next to the hero, and hold his/her cape while they fight the bad guys. Most of the main characters we love have someone who is in the fight with them. Sometimes they know what’s happening. Harry Potter had his pals Hermione and Ron, who worked with him and knew what they were doing.

In the comic book world there was Jimmy Olson, who seemed to help Superman/Clark Kent without actually being in on the whole secret identity thing. Often he was portrayed as more hindrance than help.

The Batman has Robin who is a fully informed cohort. He knows what is happening and is a part of the hero’s plans. Coincidently Robin is pretty much dependent upon the hero Bruce Wayne for his daily needs. His skill set matches up with those of the hero he is second to.

Robinson Crusoe had a day of the week to assist him, and as the story progressed it became a serious question as to who was helping who. Crusoe without Friday would have failed to survive.

Of course Sherlock Homes had his Dr. Watson. Watson who supplied specific medical knowledge and the occasional humanizing influence on Sherlock. Although Sherlock often assumed that he could easily solve his mysterious crimes, it was occasionally Watson who pushed him in the right direction. Either intentionally or accidentally.

Perry Mason, had two assistants. His loyal secretary Della Street, and his personal private investigator Paul Drake, Mason’s cases were often unsolvable without Drake’s ability to uncover the truth.

Jules Verne understood the need for fictional characters to have their partners. In” Around the World in Eighty Days” Verne created Phileas Fogg as the hero of the adventure, but gave him the loyal Monsieur Passpartout to share in the adventure and danger of the tale.

Of course not every fictional hero had a partner. Some seemed to get along just fine while operating alone, or with only the occasional assistance. For instance Agatha Christie created the famous Miss Marple to solve crimes all over England with any sort of permanent assistant. She would manipulate people around her to reach a successful resolution to the mysterious crime that she had stumbled across.

On the other hand Ms. Christie also created Hercule Poirot, who almost never operated alone. He, like Perry Mason, had a loyal secretary Miss Lemon. A personal assistant/associate who handled the heavy physical portions of his crime fighting, Captain Hastings. And also had the ever present and occasionally obtuse Inspector Japp of the police force. Together they solved crimes across Europe.

Which do you refer the hero who single handedly solves the crimes and saves the day, or the main character who has partners to help in the resolution of the cases?

Contrast

Contrast

Contrast: to compare different things or arrange them in a way that highlights their differences.

I usually dislike the use of definitions in a story, probably related to my dislike of facts interfering with a good tale. However, I’ve been wondering about contrast and what it accomplishes. Those in the medical profession use a dye to emphasize the differences in pictures of internal organs. Thus contrasting the differences and the resulting picture produces a clearer showing of the items that have absorbed the dye or contrast. [Side Note #1: I know you’re asking if I’m going to be working on a medical story. The answer is, “no.”]  I’ve been wondering about how writers use contrast to describe characters in their stories.

If the author can contrast the characters in the stories they will appear clearer, and easier to define. Show the differences between the hero and the villain and you have a better picture of each. If the reader cannot see those difference clearly then the two blur and are not easily perceived. The hero might be evil, or the villain might have a good side. Is it better to have a clear distinction between the two, or can a story flow well with the reader feeling sympathy for the villain, and distrust of the hero?

My favorite author, Ms. Rowling, does a little of both in her story of the boy wizard and his nemesis, the evil one who cannot be named. [Side Note #2: If you haven’t read the stories this makes no sense. I mean how can you have a character who no one calls by their name? I always wondered how the younger children were to know who to fear, if their parents never said the name of the one they were to wary of. Oh well, it worked since it allowed the truly brave ones to actually say the name. Now that’s courage for you.] Ms. Rowling even goes so far as letting a part of the evil one live in the hero. At various times during the story she has the hero wondering about the similarities between himself and the villain. This of course sets the stage for the hero’s mentor to strongly point out the differences between the two. And it becomes the differences, or the contrasts, between the two that help the reader to define the hero.

In the early western’ movies the bad guy always wore the black hat. That way it was easy to spot him in the crowd. The hero was the one with the dirty white hat. Of course this was to lead to great confusion when later we had the “Zoro” movies come out and there was the hero dressed completely in black. You couldn’t tell the good guys from the bad guys, no contrast.

Contrast exists between characters who are not the hero or the villain. Contrast can help to define any and all of the characters in a story. In “Moby Dick” we have Captain Ahab and the great white whale “Moby Dick.” But who can forget Ishmael and by contrast his friend the tattooed Queequeg. Their differences define who they are, and what part they are to play in the story.  Melville also uses comparisons to show the similarities between Ahab and Moby Dick. Is Ahab the good one who is trying to save whaling ships from the evil white whale? Is Moby Dick the evil whale who seeks out and destroys those ships, and the humans who sail them? Or, is Ahab an obsessed man who lives only for revenge, and the whale only defending himself against those who would kill him and his kind? Both contrast and comparison work to answer those questions.

Writing About Who We Are

Writing About Who We Are

Autobiographies are very popular for those of us who have achieved fame, and feel others would like to know how we became what we are. [Side Note #1: There are autobiographies written by folks who have not achieved fame, however they are not remarkably successful. For instance see if you can find a copy of “Herman Finklemiester, Plumber Extraordinaire.”] There are some blogs that are dedicated to the revelations of the lives of the blogster. [Side Note #2: I just made up the word “Blogster” and my spell- check is not happy about it. I guess it’s true, you can’t make all the machines happy, all of the time.]

You don’t have to be famous to write an interesting story about your life. You do have to be able to write an interesting story. I follow a few blogs that are self-revealing, and for the most part find them fascinating. Some of them are written by folks who know who they are, and some by folks who are still in the search mode. One such blog is written by a future Broadway playwright/actress/comedian who is deep into the self-discovery process.

At “Humans are Funny” (http://www.humansarefunny.com/) we have the delightful opportunity to share in that process of self-discovery. Sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, but always entertaining. I’ve been tempted to try to put some self-information into this space, but I’ve so far resisted lest I bore the few of you loyal readers. At one point in my past, I mentioned to some folks that I was interested in writing. I was advised to write about what I knew. I thought to myself, that would mean that I would have to write about working in an office. Not exactly “50 Shades of Mauve.” Although I suppose that working in an office for a gazillion years might be a study in masochism, but not the interesting kind. Which is why I’ve stayed with fiction, and not been tempted to delve into reality.

“Isn’t there anything about your past in your stories?” you ask.  Well I suppose that there must be something familiar, or else I’d be stuck working on a Martian canal boat. Of course that worked for Edgar Rice Burroughs, since I doubt that he actually traveled to mars or found a man who was raised by great apes.

Perhaps I should look into that new civilian launch system for the astronauts, or spend more time at the zoo. Oh well, in the meantime I’ll stick with the “Time Out” over at Kindle.

Why do we write, what we write?

Why do we write, what we write?

We discussed why people write books, stories, and I suppose blogs. Whether it’s an addiction, or simply a hobby gone astray, the fact is that some people write. Now there are the folks who write non-fiction and they fit into a completely different bag. Whether it’s newspaper articles, or how-to manuals for electric toothbrushes, their choice of topics and style is normally directed by others. But fiction writers are something else entirely.

What makes a fiction writer choose a topic? Often they are victims of a vicious conundrum, if they are writing in the hopes that others will read their endeavors.  They have to choose what to write about, but should they write about what people are reading? If that were the only logical answer, then all books on the shelves today would be about romantic vampires and the magically enhanced people who inhabit the secret places in the world. If the authors choose to write what interests them and disregard what the majority of the reading public is looking for, then they run the risk of their work never seeing the light of day on a publisher’s desk. [Side Note #1: This of course is fantasy of the highest order, since all starving writers will tell you that sunlight never reaches a publisher’s desk. They all know that publishers are all trolls, who hide from the light of day in deep dark caves that are protected from the light by piles of manuscripts that have never been opened.]

I think the answer to the question lies somewhere in between the two poles. Judging by the actual number of books you can find in a book store today that deal with vampires, some of those who make the What’s-Popular-Now choice are slipping past the gates. [Side Note #2: This of course assumes that you can find an actual bookstore. The search for brick-and-mortar buildings that exclusively sell books is rapidly becoming a futile effort.] [Side Note #3: Thank goodness you can still go to Amazon-Kindle and download a copy of “Time Out” by you know who.] It may be that those books on vampires are all attempts to copy the works of Ann Rice or Stephanie Meyer. Those attempts are aided by publishers, who see the opportunity for profit by following the lemmings across the edge of redundancy. Of course, I exclude the works of James Howe, and his vampire bunny “Bunnicula,” which is both original and predates all of the vampire books, save those of Ms. Rice. [Side Note #4: If you have, or know of children, then you should really make the time to read the “Bunnicula” series of books.]

Back to the title topic, the choice of what to write. I suspect that the truth is manipulated by the same force that bring on so many copycat TV shows. I mean really, did anyone even know that there were laboratories in police stations before that original show in Vegas? I’m waiting for the cartoon version of a group of investigating dachshunds who work out of a secret lab built under the county animal shelter. They would investigate cases of abuse and death by toxic dog kibble.

The problem with dismissing writers who choose original topics is that eventually you’ll run into that first book in the next big trend. Not all writers who follow the trend avoid starvation, and not all writers who use originality will go to their death by being found under a cascading pile of unsold manuscripts. The truth, and the next great book you read, will be listed somewhere in between the two.