Santa Rejected

Memo:

To: Chief Operating Control Officer

From: North Pole Research Division

Re: Experimental Tracking Paint

As you know this was the first year that we were field testing the Tracking Paint that was developed last year. As the content of the paint was not yet approved for children we were reluctant to use it directly on any of our toys. Thus, we proposed to use it on the packaging of toys for children who were above the age where it would be expected that they would attempt to consume the packaging. Further, we decided to only try it out on a very limited basis on toys produced by several of our sub- contractors.

The remote controlled “Mighty Construction Dump Truck” was one of the toys selected. ACME Manufacturing, the maker of the toy, agreed to add our paint component to the ink used on the packaging for the toys they produced under our contract. 

Initial results have been mixed as it seems none of the recipients kept the boxes the truck came in. The few boxes that remained at the child’s house have for the most part been placed in recycling containers in the storage areas of the homes. These have usually been in the garages of the houses.

There has been one exception and that is what I’m contacting you about. I’m requesting extraordinary resources to find out why the subject box has apparently been moved repeatedly since Xmas Eve when you delivered it to the child. This may imply that the toy was rejected.

CC: Elf Monitoring division.

The door to the research division slammed open and in walked Santa. He went directly up to the desk of the division head. Since Santa rarely stopped by the research workshop his presence was causing quite a stir. Everyone in the section stopped work and focused on the big man’s movements.

Santa said, “Alan, may I please see those workplace operating manuals you convinced me we needed?”

Alan, the head or the research division, quickly reached around to the book case in back of his desk and pulled out three books. He put them on the front of his desk and said, “Here they are. I’ve read them all three times and tried to implement most of the ideas they propose as policies that should be followed in any efficient office.”

Neither Alan nor Santa noticed the moans and faces the staff was making when Alan said he was implementing some changes. The changes were not popular among the group that was for the most part known as free thinkers who not only thought out of the box, but threw the box away in the first place.

Santa asked, “Alan, are these all of the books?”

Alan was nodding as he reached over to stroke the top book.

Santa said, “I’m going to take these back with me. I want you to promise that you will forget everything you read in these books, and return this shop to the way it was run last year.

“I know you’re a little concerned about running the shop now that Tom transferred over to Reindeer care and feeding. I asked you to be responsible for the operation here mainly based on the fine work you did on the Time Stop watch you designed for me. You and all of the great people here in R&D have always done a fantastic job. I believe that it was mainly because of the way that you treated each other like a family.

“Can you do that for me Alan? Can you become a family again?”

Alan was looking at the stack of books that Santa was talking about, but said, “They said that all the big corporations were using them. That they would improve efficiency 100 percent. But if you’re sure about getting rid of them I’ll do it.”

A small cheer could be heard from the rest of the group.

Santa said, “Thank you Alan. I never doubted that this shop was being run well. I think if you remember how things were before you’ll agree that things will go quite smoothly again.

“Now, perhaps you can tell me what you wanted to say in this “Memo” before it was translated into “business speak.”

Alan took the sheet of paper from Santa. It had been the first one he had created using the format and language from the books. It had taken him most of the night to type it up before he was sure that it would look like the samples from the book. He looked at the books and then back at the sheet of paper in his hand. He crushed the paper and threw it into the trash can.

Alan took off the tie he had been wearing and said, “What I was trying to say is that the paint we developed so that you could be sure that the right toy went to the correct child was being used for the first time. It was on the box for that remote controlled dump truck that was so popular this year. All of the trucks were delivered to the correct child but then something strange started to happen. One of the trucks, still in the box, started to move all over town.

“What I was trying to ask for was some help in finding out why the truck seemed to be rejected by the child who got it.”

Santa looked shocked. He had never heard of a child not wanting the toy he gave them. “I’ll stop by investigations and have them send over their top people to work with you on this. Let me know as soon as you find out what’s happening.

“And Alan, no memo. Just come by and talk to me.”

An hour later two of the Elves who monitored the outside world came into the shop. Alan waved them over as soon as he saw them.

Mary, the first one to get to the desk said, “I’m Mary and this is Roy. Santa said that you’ve found a problem with a toy that he delivered and he wanted to see if we could find out what happened.”

Aland went over to the only table in the room that wasn’t over flowing with experiments and called over two other elves. He introduced the new members as Sam and Sandy. Then he began to explain what they had discovered.

“We developed this stuff that would allow us to track anything it was painted on. The idea was to see if there were any toys  delivered to the wrong children.  Any way all the toys went to the correct place and for the most part we found that the toys were immediately take out of the box and played with. There was one exception. A boy named Timmy Johnston didn’t open the box that this toy truck came in. In fact the next day the truck was moved to a new location. To a house where Ronny Jakobe’s lived. Still the box wasn’t opened and the next day it was moved to a commercial building in that town. Still unopened it was again moved to another house where a little boy named Elmer Francis lived and from there to a hospital in the town. It is still there in the hospital, unopened.

“I’m hoping that you can find out what happened to the truck. It appears as if none of those boys wanted the truck and that we made a mistake in thinking the original boy Timmy wanted the truck.”

The two elves from Investigations both looked shocked at the idea of children rejecting toys from Santa. Mary said, “Roy and I will see what we can find out. We have tinsel and icicle monitors in most of that town and extra ones in the children’s ward of the hospital. We’ll start pulling the records of the last few days and see what we can discover. I can’t believe that we got the wrong toy to a child. That would be the first in more than a century.

“As soon as we have something we’ll bring it over and we can decide what to tell Santa.”

Alan said, “Thank you. We here in the research family don’t want to be the ones who found out Santa’s toys are being rejected.”

Twenty-six hours later

Mary and Roy, both looking tired but satisfied came into the research section. As soon as Alan saw them he got up and asked, “What did you find out?”

Roy asked, “Do you have a monitor we can borrow?”

Sam, who was listening to investigators said, “How big?”

Mary said, “Big as you’ve got I suppose.”

Sam walked up with a remote control in his hands and said, “Is this big enough?” An eighty-five inch screen was descending from the ceiling. Sam placed the remote down on the table and said, “Just put your computer next to the remote and it’ll relay it to the big screen.”

Mary and Roy were both standing there looking at the screen. Finally Mary took the computer they had with them and placed it on the table. She said, “We tracked down the recordings from all of the places you gave us and put together the relevant information.

“Here’s the first piece where Santa is delivering the truck to Timmy Johnston’s home. As you know no one can actually see Santa, but our monitors are specially tuned to him and they pick up his image.

“We skip to the next scene where Timmy opens the package and sees what Santa brought him. You can tell from his big smile that it was what he wanted for XMAS, just as his letter to Santa said. But he doesn’t open the box. Instead he puts it aside and opens the next few packages.

“We’ll skip past all of the rest of the celebrations and stop at the next day. Here’s Timmy and his father at breakfast. I’ll turn up the volume as much as I can but Timmy is speaking very softly.

Timmy says, “Dad, do you believe in Santa?”

Timmy’s father, “Of course I do.”

Timmy goes on, “And do you believe he brought me that swell truck?”

Father, “Yes again.”

Roy stops the player and says, “Look at the father’s face. He has that same smile that all the parents get when they think they have to lie to fool their children. He saw the truck under the tree and remembered that it wasn’t wrapped in any of the paper that he and his wife used in the days before XMAS. He has convinced himself that his wife must have bought the truck for their son and didn’t tell him. Last night when they were looking at all of the presents his wife thought that her husband had bought the truck. Neither will ever admit that they don’t know where the truck came from.” Roy starts the player again.

Timmy asks in an even quieter voice, “Do you think Santa would be mad if I didn’t keep the truck?”

Timmy’s father almost chokes on his cereal. “You mean that you don’t want that truck? I thought you wrote to Santa for it.”

Timmy sits right up, “Oh no I think it’s the best present I got, and I really do love it, but I was thinking about something else.”

His father has put down his spoon to avoid further spillage. “Thinking about what?”

 

Timmy’s voice has gone quiet again. “Do you remember Ronny Jakobe? He played on my little league baseball team last summer.”

Timmy’s father stops for a moment and then says, “Was he the one with the curly hair that barely fit under the batting helmet?”

Timmy smiles, “Yep that’s Ronny. Well his dad worked for that computer company that closed up three months ago. His dad has been all over looking or work but no one seems to be hiring.

“We were talking at school last week and he said that things are really tight over at his house and he hoped that his parents didn’t spend a lot on gifts this year since they needed the money for their house and food.

“Any way, if you don’t think Santa would mind, I’d like to give the truck to Ronny so that he’ll have something nice this year. I kept the paper it was wrapped in and I think I can re-wrap the box so that Ronny won’t know. I thought I could put a new card on it that said from ‘Santa to Ronny’ and then leave it on their front porch so that they think Santa was just a little late this year.

“Would that be OK?”

Tim’s father is sitting there with his mouth open. He loved his son but never would have thought he would be so charitable. “Yes I think that would be OK. If you wrap the box, and we get your mother to write a new card, I’ll drive you over there tonight just after dark and you can leave it for Ronny on his porch.”

Timmy is all smiles and rushes back to the XMAS tree to find the box and the wrapping paper.

Mary stops the player and says, “They go over and leave the truck on Ronny Jakobe’s porch. Ronny’s father who has been working part time for a package delivery shop came home late and saw the box.  He brought it in and gave it to Ronny. Mary starts the player and they see Ronny opening the package.

Ronny is all smiles as he opens the package and sees the truck. Then he stops before he opens the box and asks his father whether he bought the truck and his father denies it. Then Ronny puts the truck still in the box up on their table and starts to think about it.

Ronny says to his father, “Are you sure you didn’t buy the truck for me?”

Again his father says, “No. Ronny I’m sorry but this year we’ve been a little short on money. I’ll make it up to you when I find another real job, but for now we have to keep our belts tightened.”

Ronny is looking at the box the truck came in. Then he says, “Dad you know I haven’t opened the box yet, so it’s just like when it came out of Santa’s workshop. Do you think the Marx toy store down town would buy it from you, even if you didn’t have a receipt?”

 

His father is thinking about what Ronny has said and then he says, “They might. But without a receipt I’ll bet they would only give me the money for the ‘marked-down’ after XMAS sale.”

Ronny is beginning to get a smile. “Even so dad. This is a pretty expensive toy, and we could really use the money, couldn’t we?”

Ronny’s father seems to sink down into his chair. “We could, but this is a present from Santa. Don’t you want to keep it?”

Ronny says, “More than anything, but I’d rather have gloves for when it gets cold. Will you take it down to the store? You could tell a little fib and say that we got two of them but you didn’t keep the receipt.”

Roy stops the machine and says, “Well as you can see both of the two boys wanted to have the truck that Santa brought. And both believed that Santa brought it to them. So Santa doesn’t have to worry that his toys are being rejected.”

Alan looked back from the screen and asked, “But where is the truck now?”

Roy answered him. “Ah, that took a little more searching. Ronny’s dad did as Ronny asked and took the truck to the store and was able to sell it back to the store for the after-XMAS sale price.

“The store stayed open until 11:00 that night and then opened at 6:00 the next morning. We took turns watching the front door of the store until at 10:30 that morning we saw someone leaving with the truck in a bag. By the way that tracking stuff you guys came up with really does work. Even through the bag we knew it was the truck.

“Since you gave us the name of Elmer Francis we had a crew monitoring the icicles outside of his house as well. Shortly after the truck left the store it arrived at Elmer’s house. Now we had a problem.

“The Francis house had no XMAS decorations in the house. That meant no tinsel. We were able to boost the gain on the icicles outside and got most of the conversations inside. Here’s what we got but there’s no video.”

A man’s voice says, “I know I shouldn’t have but I saw that truck Elmer was talking about last month in the window of Marx’s toy store and I couldn’t stop myself. It was on sale and even though those hospital bills are killing us I had to get it. Let’s go down there and put it under that little tree you set up in his room.”

A woman’s voice comes on, “Don you shouldn’t have. The doctors said it might be months before Elmer comes out of that coma. Even then they don’t know what the long term effects of the car crash will have on him. He may not be able to play with that truck for a long time.

Besides unless the insurance company decides to give us the money for the hospital bills…”

They can hear the sounds of crying coming from the woman, and then she says, “Well as long as you’ve already spent the money I’ll wrap it up so it looks like Santa brought it. Even if Elmer doesn’t see it the nurses will be cheered by it.”

The voices stop and Mary says, “We lost the conversation as they went into another room away from the window with the icicles. A half an hour later we saw their car leave and both the woman and man were in the car.

“We picked them up again when they entered the children’s ward at the hospital. There we have enough tinsel monitors to cover everything. Those nurses do everything they can to cheer up their patients.

Elmer’s parents went into room 305 and that’s where Elmer is staying. Elmer’s mother says, “Look Elmer, Santa brought you that truck you wanted. He left it at the house.” She left the room and sat down in the hallway and cried for a few minutes and then went back into the room to talk to Elmer about how pretty the neighborhood looked all decorated for XMAS.”

Roy picked up the story as Mary had a tear issue to deal with. “We sent an operative into the hospital to see what happened to Elmer. She found out that Elmer had been out in the early morning about three weeks ago delivering newspapers. He was struck from behind by a car that didn’t stop. They found him there on the side of the road with a number of broken bones. He has remained unconscious ever since then. The doctors treated his breaks and the bones are healing nicely, but Elmer hasn’t regained consciousness. Some of the nurses were talking at the nurse’s station that they were afraid that there must be serious brain injury and Elmer may never wake up to see his XMAS presents.”

Mary was able to rejoin the discussion. “So we can tell Santa that his toys are still wanted and liked. In the process of this investigation we have found two extraordinarily kind and considerate boys who both wanted he truck he brought. We also have found a family that has been devastated by a hit and run driver, and a son who may never see another XMAS again.”

Alan, Mary, Roy, and Sam went over to Santa’s office and showed him the images they had recorded, and told him the complete story of the toy truck that seemed to have been rejected.

Santa listened to the complete report and then asked them all to wait there few minutes. He went to the door and said, “Ellen can you join us for a few minutes and bring your pad.”  He turned back to the room and said “Ellen is the only elf in the whole North Pole who can take dictation.”

Ellen, Santa’s personal assistant, came into the office and sat down in the chair next to the big desk. She opened her pad and looked up at Santa.

He said, “Ready?”

Ellen nodded and took the pencil out from behind her ear.

Santa began, “We have a little post XMAS work to handle. Will you please ask Maria in the Special Cases Unit to get ready for a little undercover work? Tell her to put on her hospital uniform and prepare a hypodermic with a full dose of XMAS cheer.  Roy, if you would please stop by the Special Cases Unit and give Maria the address and room number for Elmer I think we shall see if we can bring him back to his parents while his XMAS tree is still fresh.

“Mary will you check those records you got from the Francis’ and see if you can get me the name of their insurance company that is holding up on paying for Elmer’s treatment. Then pass the name onto Ellen. Ellen let Joshua know that I have a special assignment for him. He’ll get to do that whole XMAS ghost thing again to convince the insurance company to pay for Elmer’s hospital bills.

“Ellen, please alert production that we’ll need two more of those remote control trucks for a little remedial XMAS delivery. Alan will give you the addresses and names for those deliveries.

“Alan, I want you to go over to purchasing and see if we can arrange to place a sizable order for those children’s tablet computers with the company where Ronny’s father worked.

“Well I think that just about covers everything. Alan, see how ‘efficient’ we can all be when we work as a family?”

Alan was nodding like crazy, while the rest of them all tried to figure out what Santa meant.

Santa got up and said, “Well I think that calls for hot chocolate. Will you all join me for a cookie and hot chocolate break in the Kitchen?”